


wise men say only fools rush in

by transzoemurphy



Category: Castle
Genre: Angst, But to be fair, Character Study, F/M, Internal Monologue, Kate Beckett Is Bad At Feelings, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Rick Castle Is Bad At Feelings, a match made in heaven, i wrote this after watching 4x19 and 4x20 and BOI, rick writes fanfic, short fic, this is just..... vent fic at this point but w/e, this is like...autobiographical lmfao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 20:06:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18858181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transzoemurphy/pseuds/transzoemurphy
Summary: rick is (as usual) thinking about Kate





	wise men say only fools rush in

**Author's Note:**

> so im gay and whenever i see "pining for close friend over the course of a ridiculously long amount of time" im just obligated to hyperfixate and write abt it. same hat i guess. anyway i love these two

Sometimes the way Rick thought about Kate Beckett reminded him of a shy and blushing schoolgirl with a crush on her tutor, the ultra-popular football player who secretly had a dark past and really good grades. Which was weirdly specific, but alas, he'd watched more anime in middle school than he was willing to admit.

Whenever he caught himself staring at Kate during a slow day at the office, thinking in sonnets about her eyes or lips or deeply hidden trauma, he felt like a total fool. It was just his luck, really, falling for Kate Beckett. A girl who anyone in their right mind would want; a girl he couldn't have.

When he was in 8th grade, he'd gone through a rough time, and he kept himself going through it by writing fanfiction about him and his friends living better lives than the ones they had. In some ways, Nikki Heat is just a more complicated version of that. He's projecting Kate onto her so he can live out his dreams with someone who might be the first person he's ever really loved.

And she might be a dream, but god, his heart ached for any of this to be real. There was no way someone as brilliant and smart and incredible as Kate was real. She was a goddess living among mortals and Rick really didn't know how he'd been lucky enough to be around her.

He wasn't stupid; he knew she had flaws, but god. Her tendency to close off and refuse to say how she felt, the way she refused to let herself have fun; it upset him sometimes. But it didn't stop him from yearning after her in a way that he'd never felt before. Neither of his ex-wives had made him feel anything even close to this.

With Kate, he was really willing to compromise. He was willing to let go of things to make her more comfortable and he knew (thought) she'd do the same for her.

But instead of going up to her and explaining how he felt, Castle leaned back in his chair and watched from a distance as Kate took a sip of the coffee he'd brought her, and he sent a quick text to some blonde girl he didn't care about, and he wondered how much more his heart could take.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this a few weeks ago in about 45 minutes while listening to the song that plays on the episode selection screen, because i am very classy. my tumblr is @trans-zoe-murphy btw uwu


End file.
